Ron and Helene : What a difference a dog can make

Helene and Ron with Tilo - Photo by Sue AverettHelene and Ron met and merged as a couple several months after meeting when they were both 71. When asked how they were so sure that this relationship was going to last, Helene immediately responded, “I just knew.  My heart knew immediately, though my mind was scared to death.”

Their meeting would make a great introduction to a relationship comedy.  Ron was at a local coffee shop when he spotted a fluffy little white dog being tied up outside.  Ron was instantly drawn to Helene’s dog, Tilo.  When she came in to order coffee, Ron mentioned to her that he had the exact same dog that had died four years earlier.  She invited him to go out and hold Tilo.  Ron walked out and stroked Tilo, and they became instant friends.  When Helene walked out to get Tilo, she met his new friend.  Helene and Ron exchanged pleasantries and then talked for an hour and a half.  As they parted, they exchanged phone numbers.

Their first date wasn’t quite a date. Helene called Ron and invited him to join her and a friend going to a movie.  After the movie, Ron and Helene went off by themselves and enjoyed tea and conversation.  Then, Ron walked her back to her car and kissed her good night.  They both say they have clear memories of that kiss and their feelings at that moment, and that they intuitively knew they had found the partner they had each been seeking.

Ron and Helene had both been single for a while before meeting, and they each wanted to have a loving partner, even though that person hadn’t appeared for either of them yet. 

Ron’s story

Ron married at 19, had a son and a daughter, and stayed in his marriage for 35 years before he knew he had to leave and re-start his life.  He moved from Detroit to San Francisco; then to Bellevue, Washington.  In the process of re-bounding from his first marriage, he married again, and this time the relationship ended in five years.  He tried dating women he met through the Internet.  When Ron was 70, he authored a book about matchmaking for seniors.  He says that as he wrote this book for others he began to think, “What’s important to me?”  He found himself engaging in deep introspection, and he feels he gradually moved into a place where he would recognize the right woman when she came into his life.

Helene’s story

Helene was married for 22 years and had two sons before realizing she wasn’t married to the right person for her.  She divorced and remained single for 21 years.  She says, “I was always hopeful, but I didn’t expect to meet the ‘right man’.”  She said there were so many false starts, and after a while, she didn’t believe she would be willing to risk again.  At the same time, she really did want to find the right someone.  She believes, “I manifested Ron.  I put out to the universe what I wanted.”  Shortly afterwards, Tilo introduced her to Ron.

Their current relationship

Helene says that Ron is “Open, tender, helpful, supportive, considerate, kind, thoughtful and intelligent.”  Ron describes Helene as “Caring, loving, sensual, brilliant, funny, joyful, kind, sensitive and heart-centered.”

They ascribe to being very supportive of one another and they have a level of trust they have never experienced before.  They love to share ideas and emotions.  Helene says, “We recognize our fears can clash, and we talk about it when it happens.  Ron adds, “We help each other work through our stuff, and as we resolve issues, we become closer.”

Because of the children and grandchildren from each of their relationships, they have decided not to legally marry, although they each feel fully committed to one another. 

They have both agreed to let go of their negative attachments from the past: “Being 72 and knowing we didn’t make some wise choices earlier in our lives, we believe this last quarter of our lives is our chance to get it right and simply enjoy life and being together.”